Arol Wulf-Zendik

Revolution and Me

Thinking of a slogan for a bumper sticker years ago, I thought of "Stop Bitching Start A Revolution". Yes, I admit it was my idea! So Stop Bitching...........has had quite a journey. On bumper stickers, t-shirts, peoples' doorways, pirated in India, Japan, Italy, Germany, Sweden and who knows where else. Censured in Israel, bandied about the Mideast by young students studying here in the States and in Europe, appeared at a anti-war rally when the U.S. still had them in spite of the Bush crack-downs, appearing on a young woman holding up the globe, her black and white Stop Bitching shirt for all to see, celebrities wearing it to events, FBI and Secret Service guys, bankers, cops, etc. wearing the shirt under their shirt and tie or other uniforms. It's been around and still is. Start A Revolution, I meant each person start your own revolution in your consciousness in your conscience, become a rebel against a system that is killing just about everything and certainly all of us.

My first experience with revolution.................. Arguments between my father and my uncle about the revolution in Russia, listening while they argued; one a communist, the other a socialist, arguing about violence or non-violence to achieve revolution, the communist for violent overthrow, the socialist for working with the system to change it.

My second experience with revolution ...........the Cuban revolution led by Fidel Castro and Che Guevara in the 50's. Living in Greenwich Village in New York City, place of my birth, knowing lots of guys and some women going off to Cuba to fight with the rebels in the hills to get Batista out of Cuba. Idealists with long hair and guitars. I was so enamored with other young people, against all odds, going up against the dictator and when they won I and my friends were overjoyed. Good triumphed over Evil, even went up with adoring crowds to catch a glimpse of the revolutionaries staying at the Hotel Theresa in Harlem. Night of celebration, dancing and singing, etc. Thrilled and happy with it all and then one day reading in the New York Times that the revolutionaries had lined up the ruling people in prison, lining them up and executing them! Shock, disappointment, crying many days.......didn't read another newspaper for years and years and refused to follow anything political though I had been trained from a early age to pay attention to what was going on in the world.

Now....revolution everywhere in the Mideast...........myself, as so many others, watching the Egyptian young people, cheered by their resolve and dedication, determined to win against all odds and they did....It had spread to them from Tunisia and now it's raging violently in Libya, and severely suppressed in Bahrain and Syria. And now, I'm realizing what did anyone win? There is no change, nothing has happened, old hatreds still flaring, there is still no work for young people anywhere on the globe including our country, why not, why hasn't anything happened, why will nothing happen? Because everything is a closed system of high finance games and competition, because the basic philosophic building block, the foundation of society has not changed. Because it is still the rich and poor and the poor are growing in number as the rich grow in assets, resources that truly belong to everyone, air, water, earth. All of it owned it seems by a few. There is such acceptance of 'business as usual' that slums are now being glorified as part of the future of great cities. It all begins to look like a horrible science fiction movie. A movie of chaos and pain.

I just received my latest copy of Architectural Record about the life of a great American City...New York. And the growth of parks and beautiful buildings and better places to work, where there used to be horrible airless factories. Everywhere the creation of beauty and more ease and it looks beautiful to me. Of course I don't see pictures of the dirty air, nor close-ups of many of the millions of harried citizens of the city and I'm not looking for that in this magazine. Then I read that the mayor is doing all this to New York to make it economically competitive in the international market.

If we had a guiding philosophy governing us that rewards goodness and intelligence and creativity and cooperation and made sure survival was there for everyone, the same people who create this beauty would do so for everyone without worrying about the international finance economy, the same international financial structure that is causing so much pain for so many people on our lovely planet or what's left of it. I also just heard that the president of my country, the USA, has dropped the legislation to help save our air quality that causes so much death and sickness to so many children, killing their lungs and the hearts of the older ones. I heard a woman from the American Lung Association saying that his action was outrageous! And she's right, but our rulers have decided that those rules trying to protect us cost too much and won't help the economy.

The economy had better be about the survival of us all and we need to revolutionize the way we think about governments and the ever-present rich and poor. Isn't it time for a real change, a real revolution that starts at the very foundation of what we know and begins to change that basic philosophy to one of cooperaton, the health and welfare of everyone? We seem to go on century after century accepting 'what is', changing one exploitive civilization with another, over and over and over again. Isn't it time to stop and let our consciences and consciousnesses run the way we live our lives and govern ourselves?

This is the way to live well and keep our resources intact for the use of everyone. It lies in our philosophy and what we expect from life and we need to examine that and follow our highest intelligence and deepest spiritual and intellectual awarensss. We can do it starting now, we have the tools, we have the technology, we have to change our philosophy, which simply means to live by what we believe in. Not a philosophy that hangs out on a bookshelf somewhere or once a week or five times a day, but a philosophy of love, kindness, responsibility to each other and perhaps even love, here and now in our present configuration. I don't expect to see this happen within my own lifetime, but would want it for my descendants and those of the people I know and love.

Wouldn't you love to know that people are not going to bed hungry, that people are not afraid for their lives, that there is plenty of pure water, air and land to share with one another? Why do we have to accept what is just because it's always been? Begin to explore those questions and you will know what the answers are and we can begin to change it all around us now. Do you still think the planet will support billions and billions of us? We need to all change the direction we are going for a different one. A philosophy we can believe in and live by. Stayed tuned if you can.............

"Let us now finally accept and take our place as precious parts and parcel of Cosmic Creativity and acccept the expanding power and product of our minds as natural and as benevolent and as wondrous as all of Nature. Then applying the power and product of mind into the Evolutionary Force will be understood as the Holy act of Creavolution....then we are truly divine....then we are free....then We are part of the God Force and take our rightful place as Custodians of this Earth, this solar system, this galaxy. this Universe." Wulf Zendik

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August 25, 2011

I have to let go now....... As all visionaires I've been hated and loved. Single-mindedness is not a popular thing to be up close with. It is adored in the world in the form of rock-star worship or movie star worship or CEO worship, but being up close to a single-minded person dedicated to his or her commitment to their place and business in the world is not very popular among those who haven't done that with their lives.

So now I face my death as this dedicated, single-minded person and now I have to learn to let go and "put it all in God's hands", as they say, and stop the anger and feelings of betrayal and pain at the hands of others. That is their business; not mine. There are still unresolved issues that I would like to resolve with people close to me. This is not easy nor possibly possible, but I'd like it to happen if it can. I've been through "talk theraspy" and alternative therapy, a trip to Mexico in hopes of a method to cure this disease that I have now carried for just about a year.

Strange, now, that particular possible cure is finally being "studied" in this country. Well it doesn't always work and it didn't work, so here we are back in the establishment trying to deal with this thing and given a year. possibly two to live. I have been severely depressed and restless about it all, but I think now I am coming out of it, I hope and pray. Living with this tiredness and easily brusing is tough on someone like myself who has thrived on physical activity all my life. So I find myself wanting to run, I've always run to keep myself sane. Run from sickness, run from emotional pain. "Run" meant maybe a ride up the coast highway in California where I spent so much of my life. I remember borrowing a Porsche from a woman I knew and taking a lovely, very fast ride up that highway. The Porsche belonged to one of the women the madmen killed along with others . Manson, his name was.

The night they killed my friends, I had a terrible nightmare of a head hanging on the side of the bed bloody and disembodied. It was so frightening, I got out of bed and had Wulf put a dresser and other things against our door to prevent anyone entering. The next morning I awoke to the insanity of those brutal, horrible acts. Later, after we had the communal thing going for a long time I discovered seemingly sane young people who loved the Manson gang! Strange that most of those I ran across, sometimes after years of living with them and not knowing about their adoration of those maniacs, most were from wealthy families. Does that say something? Nothing I'm interested in talking about right now, but an interesting socio/psychological problem right? The love of violence and brutality and the killing of those they must envy or hate.

Anger, resentment........ resentment someone said, not anger, was the real problem. Anger is natural and part of our arsenal for survival, but resentment seethes and destroys the very soul of someone. And I know those that carry that resentment towards me will suffer terribly for it. I have found in myself that resentment coming and going since I've been sick and I don't like it, but haven't got hold of it yet. This is a journey on a road to enlightenment and it doesn't look like anything I'd imagined. The lovely nurse who comes regularly said, this sickness was just a "pothole". Lovely to be true.

"There is no escape from pain, there is only the possibility of pleasure.........." Wulf Zendik

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Hope

Paul Watson and the Sea Shepherd give me hope. The young people of Egypt, Tunisia, and elsewhere in the Middle East and North Africa give me hope. I heard of a camp that Palestinian and Israeli teenagers attended together, and they promised to stay in touch with each other through emails and facebook. That gives me hope. I've known the social networks were the way to reach each other. The world wide web has made it possible to go around our governments and really make contact with each other.

To the critics of "friends" on facebook, I've felt since I became involved, that these many "friends" who are virtual have been as true to me as the friends I have in the non-virtual world. And now events world wide are verifying that revolutions can happen, whale hunting could possibly finally be stopped - that perhaps real democracy could happen?

We haven't seen the full potential of true democracy yet have we? It's because we're going to have to go another step eventually and get rid of an economy based on finance and profit-making to an economy of fulfilling the needs, the desires of all humans on earth for friendly, productive, enriching lives. The haves and have nots really do finally have to go - As long as we have that disparity we will have pain. Pain for the haves as well as the have nots, because the conscience in all people will not feel sane and true as long as there is unnecessary suffering in the world caused by deprivation. I mean deprivation such as basic clean water, safety for all men, women, and children from the depravity of others seeking power. The seeking of power through money has kept most of the world in bondage since the beginning of civilization - since the beginning of agriculture so many years ago.

And so I wonder, as I watch our young people playing violent video games and listening to music of anger and despair, what kind of world will they have, what will they create. I see now with events in the world by these gaming and music listening young people, that they want to create a fair and just world. With so many of them communicating directly with each other now, the desire to create this world can happen.

Here we are at the forefront of a new way to organize on an egalitarian level this brave new world. A world without power hierarchy, a world where we actually take care of each other. We do have to learn how to live together peacefully because ultimately nothing else will work. The lynch pin for saving our world will be our ability to live together as I said, take care of each other. Human relations are the key to any kind of permanent change for good. All of us can see we now have the ability to start that Process and bring it to fruition.

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Christmas

It’s a beautiful Christmas morning – the frozen pond is covered with snow. There’s a light dusting of fresh snow perfectly distributed on the boughs of the pines that encircle the pond. The geese and ducks cluster around the dock where the water enters the pond from the mountains above us. There’s flowing water there – a small pond within the larger one where the water birds take turns swimming. In the morning light the birds are black against the world we’re all inhabiting this morning.

I hear people in the lower part of the house getting ready to tend the farm animals early this morning in order to be on time for an orgy of Christmas presents this year – mainly for the children – both toddlers and teenagers. I’ve been thinking this morning about the message of peace for this holiday season. I’ve been thinking about my own feelings of isolation and fear and wonder how many of us feel the same. We artists traditionally pick up whatever tools we have to express these feelings. But peace is such an elusive quest, isn’t it? The world around us is in constant war – both now and in the past and war is an awful affair. My country is in the middle of war after war and new threats come everyday from people who want to kill – kill innocent people and themselves, which shocks all of us and keeps us always alert and in fear. Somehow the days of war must end and somehow the war within ourselves must end.

This morning as so many of us prepare to give gifts to each other and wish each other well, I pray for peace and know that when we refuse to partake in war, it will be over. Participants keep it going, whole industries support it – it’s a way of being for human beings, but it is an archaic way and we can and must end that barbaric holdover of conquest and pain.

Let’s enjoy this day. Let us feel love and kindness toward each other, let us see the beauty in the day and the beauty in ourselves and know our planet is a most wondrous place.

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I Come From A Long Line Of Humans

I come from a long line of humans--I trace my ancestry to Africa and the journey out of Africa into the Middle East and on into Asia and Europe--I trace myself back to Cro-Magnon and Homo sapiens. My ancestors painted images--beautiful images on rock faces in Africa and in caves in Europe 40,000 years ago and more. We began to bury our dead and decorate our bodies and make beads and tools and weapons and lived and prayed and sang and danced together. And, yes, sickness killed us and animals killed us and sometimes cold and famine killed us and we suffered pain both emotional and physical, but we had words and we spoke to one another and told each other of our visions and dreams and where to hunt and where to find other foods and medicines and we prevailed and went everywhere--across seas to continents and islands and we began to control the planet with our clear objective minds and our belief in the Spirit of the earth and heavens and other creatures and plants.

Then, as our control grew, we got into agriculture and ownership and our control extended to other animals and men over women and children. Civilizations, supposedly great ones such as the Aztec and Mayan and Egyptian and Greek and Roman grew, and the killing became earnest then as these "great" civilizations were built on the backs of slaves and sacrifices of little children and beheadings and mutilating began so that those who grabbed power through our spiritual beliefs, our religions and those who grabbed power through material possessions could rule the people through fear and Bibles were written; beautiful stories full of blood and lust for power and these were held to be true and righteous and used against us to justify and verify the power of the few while we grew poorer as our rich heritage was taken from us and our slavery became more and more abject. Now we have malls and skyscrapers and large powerful means of transportation and electricity which causes light to happen anytime--day or night--and with light comes pollution, killing everything. And we cry, "Yes, but where is the Light?" and some say they have it and others say it doesn't exist.

And as the grip of the power grabbers tightens around our collective necks, we are now choking and gasping and we're finally getting angry and we want out--not into more wealth, but we want to reach out again and with our words talk of our visions and dreams and hopes and we begin to whisper to each other that there must be a different Way and we begin to mail notes to each other through our invention--our computers and what we've come to call the World Wide Web--the place where all the greedy ones have infiltrated with their ads for stuff and pornography and weapons and their negative news--their media that re-confirms we are trapped and caught in the misery and no way out. In spite of all that, through the "Web" we speak to one another and we are telling each other there must be a revolution.

And now I see that we have come to the current ruling civilization: The American one which has stretched its might, its power through finance and has conquered most of the world and made them financial partners to rule us together. They come from Asia and the Middle East and Africa and Europe and the American continent and they all look alike, though their skin colors and costumes may be different, and they are transported about as kings and emperors of old were transported in their litters borne on the shoulders of slaves; only now the litters, the vehicles, are run on wheels and are called limos and are bulletproofed against us and they have slave chauffeurs and slave bodyguards and they speak the same financial lies and support armies everywhere on the planet, our Earth, causing pain and havoc, and the people feel their slavery more than ever as they are bound and gagged into the financial rulership. And the American slaves are bought daily with titillating pornographic and violent films and games and toys and usurious interest to keep buying and listening to the words of their rulers and now the power circle is complete and the democracy has gone away to the few who manipulate, lying and buying their way to power using words to divide and conquer us rather than unite us.

And, now, I, who trace my ancestry back 40,000 years and more, am contacted by those of my fellow humans--unhappy, angry, frightened by the pervasive and obvious corruption unto pain and I am told there must be a revolution and I agree and we ask each other how? because we know it must be a revolution of conscience and consciousness, one without killing. They tell me that God can't save us and I say, ah, but yes, the God-Force, the God energy can and will save us and we must align ourselves with that Force, with that Energy that is in Everything including ourselves and move forward and change everything: our way of doing business and the way we live our lives in order to save our children and grandchildren's lives.

And the promise of my ancestry will once again be alive and bright, shining back and forth through the eons--shining, from rocks and caves onto computer screens and new churches which will once again share our visions, dreams and most of all our precious words--so once again we will talk with one another and need no interveners between ourselves and what is Divine. No more priests, kings, emperors or presidents to manipulate our Divine dialog. We will become powerful at last and prevail.

Love to you,

Arol

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An Apology

I promise that will be my last rant, (yesterday’s blog post). I don’t like naming names or singling any particular people out as worse than anyone else. But, there I did it and I must apologize. The truth is they are as much a victim of a horrible philosophy that tends to rule the planet, as we all are. The truth is, they may be very kind people to know outside their “official” roles. The truth is, that is where I would like them to come from, their best Selves. The Selves that are capable of compassion and kindness and not a ruthless view of everyone in the world. So please forgive the outburst of a frustrated citizen of the planet and one who lives in this country, which, for now, is the ruling empire.

Like every empire it is doomed to ultimate failure because of the things I’m talking about. They do not come from their higher consciences, their best intentions, their feelings of love and compassion. They follow an old time philosophy that has succeeded in destroying so much of our planet and so many lives. Your philosophy cannot be one of exploitation and violence as a way to get what you want. It’s been done for thousands of years and as left us hung out to dry. I would like for us to get unhung and begin to travel a path towards compassion and help for each other. To find the ability to befriend each other and stop all the “diplomatic” stuff, which is a euphemism for lying.

Let the truth about everything happen and we will begin to actually enjoy our lives. The international finance economy is not working and we need to change the direction we’re going. Of course, what I’m saying is not news. Many people are saying the same and have been for thousands of years. Isn’t it time we took them up on it, those preachers and teachers of love, friendship and compassion for one another. Isn’t it time to awaken and feel the summer sun, the winter cold, the rains and the glories of truly knowing each other no matter the color of our skin or the language we speak. We find when we do this that we are really all the same, same longings, same needs, same understanding. Yes, we are all unique individuals, nonetheless we share a common humanity, a collective unconscious. Now we need to share a common trust and understanding of each other. We need to respect each others’ differences and stop trying to get everyone lining up to be consumers and nothing more.

Let us begin turning things around inside ourselves and that will have a ripple effect that will change everything around us and we will begin to know a new dawning of consciousness. So, again, I apologize for the political disgust I expressed and hope to be back on track .

Enlightenment and the journey towards it is hard work!!!

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The Time Has Come........

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,

“To talk of many things:

Of shoes and ships and sealing wax

Of cabbages and kings

And why the sea is boiling hot—

And whether pigs have wings.”

I don’t exactly know why I gave this piece that title, but the lines have been going through my head lately. My dad always recited that poem from Alice In Wonderland to us kids and I always loved it, though I didn’t understand it too well, I thought it was pretty funny. When I grew up I found out that Alice In Wonderland was a satire that Lewis Carroll wrote; a satire on English manners and mores of the time and especially about the politicians who were running England.

Well, here we are, we Americans, now living in one of the most mis-managed fairy tales of modern times. I don’t know about you, but I can’t even believe these people. We have Hilary Clinton who seems to enjoy threatening other countries. I guess her anger must be something else. Imagine staying with her husband for the sake of their careers! Her face looks so threatening; it looks like her jaw might just lock up. What else would you want if you were her, but to cause war!

Then we have one of the most gut-less men in the top position of president. Jesse Jackson said it and was made to apologize, but he said it, “he’s got no balls’, about Mr Obama. Yes, Mr. Obama has broken a lot of hopes, a lot of hearts and a lot of souls. People hoped that he would bring logic and kindness, promises kept, and an end to the profligate monstrosity of the Bush era and their constant lies. But that hasn’t happened and now I would ask, don’t we really need to throw all of them out and start a real third party? One that cares about present civilization instead of these barbaric throw-backs that are now in government. As my cousin, echoing an American sentiment, said to me the other night, “I’d like to shoot them all and start over again!”

The government’s press secretary, in fact, their various secretaries all sound the same. Like college boys and girls who can’t say anything without it being written for them first. Their language is so stilted, so full of bullshit that none of us know any longer what to believe or not, except we all know, they’re lying!

A friend heard the phrase ‘spiritual activist’ and thought it fit me. Thank you, Mandy, very apropos for how I feel. I feel that if a third political party is not grounded in conscience and consciousness we might as well hang it up and figure the American revolution in fact was a failure. It’s not a democracy, it’s not one vote, one person, it’s run by the international finance and American finance community. If lobbying isn’t corruption, could you tell me please what is?

It doesn’t matter what religion you believe in or don’t believe in. It’s about living the most enlightened life you can from your highest ideals, from your wonderful neo-cortex, that, maybe, final gift for the development of our brain. It’s our higher mind and if it’s violent it shows up on scans with big black holes in it. And aren’t they, these “leaders” all violent? Aren’t they always threatening each other and us with disaster if we don’t do whatever the finance community tells them we should do? If you are always violent and never objective, the neo-cortex can hardly function. That’s what all the world “leaders” have; undeveloped neo-cortex. It is what makes me feel that they are way back there in history---primitives! Undeveloped beings……..

Oh, my, I’m really sick of them all and their stupidity. They learn nothing from history. They seem not to know there was a past nor a future and their now, their present is corrupted beyond belief. You know, spirituality doesn’t have to be a simpy, nice-guy experience. It needs to have truth in it, courage in it, knowledge of our hearts and souls. Spirituality needs be tough-minded and in Reality. It’s not a pie in the sky way of being. I don’t think any of us can become enlightened beings if we don’t care about other humans and other creatures and our home planet itself. It’s here and it’s now and we are each others’ source and sustenance, the same as the planet that nourishes us and keeps us alive. As the glaciers melt, these “leaders” are squabbling about money!

“What we’ve inherited is a lethally competitive finance economy that’s grinding everything under its heel, under its boot! It’s grinding us down! Our souls, our psyches. It’s making us violently competitive, it’s crushing the love out of us.” Wulf Zendik

What can we do in the face of all this? I keep asking this question as do so many others. Instead of turning away and giving up all hope, we who value our individuality, our uniqueness, our strangeness must keep on asking this question and undoubtedly we will keep coming back to ourselves. Just as there can be no peace on earth as long as we ourselves as individuals are violent, there can be no change unless we ourselves believe we can change. I believe the joy and hope for humanity is in developing our own uniqueness, that characteristic that is ours alone. Just as everyone has a unique thumbprint, everyone has a unique mind, soul and body print. It is up to us to value that in ourselves and for others to value that quality in us; to nurture it and help us expand that unique quality that is ours alone.. In that way we can cause change anywhere. We need to try and help people who are committed to violence and old fashioned ways to give it up and become who they really are. Their one and only precious Self. They keep trying old tired ways that will not work and we human beings are on the brink of change and I believe it will be for the good and saving of ourselves. This comes from my belief in ourselves and our divine souls.

“I know in each of you there’s this incredible wisdom, this incredible knowing. Because each of you has had a unique Life. Each of you is standing in a different perspective. And I need that, you need that, we all need that from one another.” Excerpt from a talk by Wulf Austin, Texas

Continuing revelations – ongoing communion with the Living God-Force, Energy, Spirit; expanding sensitivity to relationships with each other and our growing knowledge of the Universe. All these are continuing revelation...............

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Saving The Soul

“To be Conscious implies not only an awareness of one’s own existence, emotions and thoughts, and of one’s environment, but implies the capability of complex response to environmental stimuli; implies not being asleep, but awake and a subjective knowing of emotions………………

Excerpt from ‘A Prelude o Prayer’ (Cosmic Conscience) Wulf Zendik

There’s ice on the pond this morning and the geese and ducks are kind of subdued. Winter is almost here and the water birds are silent this morning for the first time. I, involved in my own thoughts and concerns and my Monday list of appointments and phone calls and responsibilities, hadn’t noticed till now. How beautiful it is here. Every day is a thrill of nature if I can get out of my head long enough to see it and enjoy it. My neo-cortex takes a while to kick in, in the mornings!

I’m busy reading many books, ‘Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers’ by Robert Sapolsky. I took his course on the brain and and for the first time understood most of a scientific subject I’ve been pretty dull about. My daughter, Fawn, thoroughly enjoys and understands the workings of the brain and she’s been very helpful to my understanding of the subject. I’m afraid I skipped to the end of the book and get stressed out about managing my stress levels!! His sense of humor is magnificent and he’s so wonderfully intelligent in his dealings with the science-handicapped such as myself.

My friend, Marcia Laska, gave me the book ‘Whole Earth Discipline – An Eco pragmatist Manifesto’ by Stewart Brand, the famous founder and editor of the Whole Earth Catalog in the 70’s that influenced so many of us then, especially those of us who’d gone “back to the land”. He is brilliant, as usual, and his ideas heretical to the usual rules of energy and facts of the earth. It is an eye-opener and I’m learning so much about subjects I thought I knew so much about. He’s letting me know I don’t and is so logical and so science correct, he blows me away.

I’ve been saving an article about feathered dinosaurs in the last ‘Smithsonian’ to read to Deor, as he’s so fascinated by dinosaurs. His favorite subjects, besides video games, is dinosaurs and astronomy. Then there’s a pile of ‘New Yorkers” sent to me by friends, Wulf’s poetry that I am editing, etc, etc. Well, I’m certainly a busy information junkie, but am I happy? I think most times I’m pretty content, getting ready to work vocally again, in touch with many wonderful people in the world, surfing a sea of troubles, like all of us, but like most humans I wouldn’t say I’m happy in that complete way we’re supposed to be.

I worry about family members not being happy, but as I know, and as my daughter reminded me the other day, “How can I be completely happy, mom, when we live in such a fucked-up world.” Yes, I know I have the same response. She is getting her father’s work edited and ready for publication next year and he was a brilliant man and we do believe his books will help us all find a sane philosophy to help us become creatures of good conscience and maybe even happiness. At the least his work helps bring you to a state of understanding and the willingness to change. At best, you get so inspired and can soazr so high on the wings of his poetic and brainy work.

I am threatened all the time by people who lived with Wulf and I at Zendik in the past. The threat runs, something like, “He’s been dead 11 years, you’ve had plenty of time to publish, if you don’t maybe I will.” Amazing, the arrogance and heartlessness of these people who think they know his work and refer to themselves as “the original Zendiks”. Since these people were around in the late 80’s and early 90’s and Zendik Arts has been around since 1969, I’d hardly call them “originals”. More like people who came into something already happening and thought they could live a life of irresponsibility and constant rebellion. (Sorry, had to get that off my mind!)

Saving your Soul doesn’t happen with blame or pride or arrogance. Saving your Soul, at least me saving mine, has to do with the daily struggle to find my way into a life that I could say is in keeping with my conscience and my ability to care about others. My reading list also includes the Dalai Lama’s ‘The Compassionate Life’ , re-reading Louise McNeill’s ‘Milkweed Ladies’ and Consilience by Edward O. Wilson and sometimes in and out, Robert Jordan’s Winter Heart, the millionth book in a fantasy collection of both exceedingly great and exciting writing and incredibly boring writing!

My Christian friends tell me I’ll save my soul by accepting Christ. Some of my best friends are wonderful Christians, true Christians with the incredible amount of love and compassion they bring to the acts of their daily lives. They are people I wouldn’t want to live without. Wulf did an outtake on his Christian upbringing, from Baptist to Science of Mind and then his own concept and knowing of the Divine, through his religious concept of Creavolution.

The sun is out now and the ice on the pond will melt this time. When winter is deep upon us the ice will stay and the Canadian geese and ducks on their way south will come and visit a while with us and their domestic counterparts. As winter comes on, I have to do physical stuff to keep going or my emotional self can suffer. Especially when the sun doesn’t shine for a while and my southwestern nature suffers. It’s then that I miss the mountains and sun of the southwest where I met my husband, my child grew up, and the love of the land grew and grew within me with miles-long hikes out into the wilderness of the deserts and mountains.

It’s the incredible beauty and soul of West Virginia that calls to my own soul and as I’m busy trying to save this soul within myself, this land and its’ people support and encourage this seeker in her search.

“Creavolution says the only constant in reality is change. The universe itself is in a continual process of growth and change: searching for harmony and compatibility, each faction of the cosmos wanting to better adapt itself with the rest, never pausing or starving, just flowing with the bend and blend of the natural rhythms and cycles. And inherent within this universal energy flux is the drive towards an ever expanding consciousness toward self awareness and understanding, towards thought and mentality. This drive is innate within all elements, within all life and matter. It’s the force of the eleMental-energy, the great divine energy field that powers the cosmos.” excerpt from Creavolution/I=eMe

Wulf Zendik

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The Moment Of Now

I realized this morning that I am a driven person and have been all my adult life. I know I have a lot of energy and focus and at some time in late teen years I decided that if I was going to die, I was going to live my life as though everyday would be my last. I had forgotten that idea until this morning when I awoke with anxiety and wondering what it was all about. I know my grandson is not well and when my children are not doing well I can get panicky inside even while seeming calm and helping get them well. This morning I felt that something deeper was going on. Why couldn’t I just enjoy the morning and the feeling in my room and the sounds of the birds and geese in the early morning dawn. I thought of Wulf’s poem, ‘The Moment of Now’ and the lines in it: “The past is a fading memory, the future an uncertain dream, our moment of now our only reality”. The poem kept going through my mind though I settled down to read the Financial Times; interesting stories this weekend edition; stories of India and Pakistan and unbelievable wealth in that poverty stricken world. Went back to sleep and awoke with the memory of every day to be lived as if it’s my last. I felt that at last I had come to a cornerstone block of unhappiness that has haunted my life.

Yes, I’m a driven human being; not so much for myself (although it must be or I wouldn’t continue to survive), but more to give myself to something that would not only save my own soul, but the soul of humanity. Growing up in New York City in the 40’s and early 50’s I saw untold suffering. The loneliness of people alone on the subways, the streets, in restaurants, eating alone, punchdrunk fighters shadow boxing down the subway cars, old women crying and talking to themselves. I would look at people who were alone when the rest of us were with friends or family and see if they had a wedding band on, because then I would know that they did have someone. If they didn’t have any signs of being with another person, I would feel sad and wish I could do something for them. I would give my nickel to the beggars on the streets though I was warned not to, that they were probably faking it. Couldn’t help myself, maybe the nickel would help. Certainly, I wasn’t a little saint. I eventually became an American teen-ager, going through a rough time, longing for love and something that would make me feel wonderful. I thought marriage would, fell in love, married, got pregnant and had an awful marriage till I finally got the courage to leave. I determined to become an artist. Somewhere inside myself I knew I had to find a form with which to express myself. Acting always got me out of myself. The art form was like a lifesaver on a sinking ship.

I have since engaged in many art forms and really I don’t think I could live without some form of expression that goes beyond the so-called rational life of everyday. The non-rational world is so full and rich. I mean the non-rational, not the irrational. I’ve always found most American life almost completely devoid of the spiritual, non-rational. Found it to be so cold and superficial and smug. Not that I haven’t known and know some of the greatest people in the world who are American and not that when I’ve been abroad, I haven’t missed Americans. It’s not the people individually, I think it’s the cultural attitude, the complete lack of anything funky or real. Henry Miller wrote about it so beautifully in his books like the Air-Conditioned Nightmare and Wulf Zendik, inspired by Miller of the 50’s, wrote, Quest Among the Bewildered so movingly about American life and its soul-killing attitude.

Back to being driven…. I realized that I really don’t know how to relax very well, but I’m learning, finally. I’ve known a lot of people who are shocked at that statement and think they do know how to relax, but I’ve discovered that they are usually fooling themselves and a good time is really hysteria and relaxed is really numb. So today on my walk, a visitor asked if he could join me and being young and seeking he asked me questions about my life and what I thought of this and that and what a person should do with their lives. He asked me if I regretted anything in my life and wished I’d done it differently and I had to admit that I didn’t. Of course, I always know in retrospect, it maybe would have been nice to be smarter, not so dumb, but we can always be brilliant in hindsight; till that enlightened day, we have to live life as best we can with whatever we have going at the time.

He asked me about the sixties and didn’t I think something happened then that still lingers and affects the world. I had to think about that one, because certainly I experienced those days and had some hope that things might really change. But they didn’t and haven’t. I told him I believed that as long as there is an entrenched upper class, which has existed through the ages at the same time that there is horrible suffering of most people on the planet; that no, I must say nothing has changed except that I feel now that technology in the form of emails, blogs, music exchange, lectures, you tubes twitters, facebooks, etc. has a great hope in it. We finally can reach to each other instantly. I can speak to people far flung on our planet, exchanging perspectives, feelings, observations and understandings that we have come to understand from the living our lives. That as we travel on our spaceship Earth together in this time, we can know each other and through that knowledge begin to change the world around us.

For myself, I told him, I’ve always wanted to save the world, just like so many children want to. I wanted to help and that was what I’d given my life to, that’s what happened when I wanted to give my life to something; it became a lifelong passion to create through art forms and through life itself, to express my passion and hopes for all of us. I haven’t always been brilliant with it, but that is what has driven me. So…………..how does one who wants to help save everything, relax? My family insists and since I adore my family, my children and grandchildren and want their life to be wonderful and full of peace, I have to listen and learn.

I had dinner with my grandson Deor the other night when the rest of the family hadn’t come home yet and he talked to me about so many things and is so wonderfully brilliant at 8 years old that I truly listened and was delighted to be having dinner with him. I couldn’t think of a better dinner companion, and when we celebrated the excuse to eat ourselves silly on Thanksgiving, he arranged where I should sit and put on his white shirt and tie and was absolutely stunning and elegant and caring about his family and his extended family. Concerned that we all enjoy ourselves.

Like everyone else, we, in this artist and teaching community of Zendik Arts are caught in the bind of survival in a finance economy ruled by a very heartless philosophy of get yours and who gives a damn about the rest. A philosophy that concerns itself with ruthless dominion over the earth’s natural resources and the people who live upon this planet. When that philosophy changes to a benevolent one, human life, as I’ve said before, will become a blessing on our ravaged souls and the soul of our planet.

“The Moment”

The past is a fading memory

The future a forming uncertain dream

The moment of now…..our only reality

So come my love…..my friends

And share this moment of now with me

Wulf Zendik

The Moment of Now