“To be Conscious implies not only an awareness of one’s own existence, emotions and thoughts, and of one’s environment, but implies the capability of complex response to environmental stimuli; implies not being asleep, but awake and a subjective knowing of emotions………………
Excerpt from ‘A Prelude o Prayer’ (Cosmic Conscience) Wulf Zendik
There’s ice on the pond this morning and the geese and ducks are kind of subdued. Winter is almost here and the water birds are silent this morning for the first time. I, involved in my own thoughts and concerns and my Monday list of appointments and phone calls and responsibilities, hadn’t noticed till now. How beautiful it is here. Every day is a thrill of nature if I can get out of my head long enough to see it and enjoy it. My neo-cortex takes a while to kick in, in the mornings!
I’m busy reading many books, ‘Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers’ by Robert Sapolsky. I took his course on the brain and and for the first time understood most of a scientific subject I’ve been pretty dull about. My daughter, Fawn, thoroughly enjoys and understands the workings of the brain and she’s been very helpful to my understanding of the subject. I’m afraid I skipped to the end of the book and get stressed out about managing my stress levels!! His sense of humor is magnificent and he’s so wonderfully intelligent in his dealings with the science-handicapped such as myself.
My friend, Marcia Laska, gave me the book ‘Whole Earth Discipline – An Eco pragmatist Manifesto’ by Stewart Brand, the famous founder and editor of the Whole Earth Catalog in the 70’s that influenced so many of us then, especially those of us who’d gone “back to the land”. He is brilliant, as usual, and his ideas heretical to the usual rules of energy and facts of the earth. It is an eye-opener and I’m learning so much about subjects I thought I knew so much about. He’s letting me know I don’t and is so logical and so science correct, he blows me away.
I’ve been saving an article about feathered dinosaurs in the last ‘Smithsonian’ to read to Deor, as he’s so fascinated by dinosaurs. His favorite subjects, besides video games, is dinosaurs and astronomy. Then there’s a pile of ‘New Yorkers” sent to me by friends, Wulf’s poetry that I am editing, etc, etc. Well, I’m certainly a busy information junkie, but am I happy? I think most times I’m pretty content, getting ready to work vocally again, in touch with many wonderful people in the world, surfing a sea of troubles, like all of us, but like most humans I wouldn’t say I’m happy in that complete way we’re supposed to be.
I worry about family members not being happy, but as I know, and as my daughter reminded me the other day, “How can I be completely happy, mom, when we live in such a fucked-up world.” Yes, I know I have the same response. She is getting her father’s work edited and ready for publication next year and he was a brilliant man and we do believe his books will help us all find a sane philosophy to help us become creatures of good conscience and maybe even happiness. At the least his work helps bring you to a state of understanding and the willingness to change. At best, you get so inspired and can soazr so high on the wings of his poetic and brainy work.
I am threatened all the time by people who lived with Wulf and I at Zendik in the past. The threat runs, something like, “He’s been dead 11 years, you’ve had plenty of time to publish, if you don’t maybe I will.” Amazing, the arrogance and heartlessness of these people who think they know his work and refer to themselves as “the original Zendiks”. Since these people were around in the late 80’s and early 90’s and Zendik Arts has been around since 1969, I’d hardly call them “originals”. More like people who came into something already happening and thought they could live a life of irresponsibility and constant rebellion. (Sorry, had to get that off my mind!)
Saving your Soul doesn’t happen with blame or pride or arrogance. Saving your Soul, at least me saving mine, has to do with the daily struggle to find my way into a life that I could say is in keeping with my conscience and my ability to care about others. My reading list also includes the Dalai Lama’s ‘The Compassionate Life’ , re-reading Louise McNeill’s ‘Milkweed Ladies’ and Consilience by Edward O. Wilson and sometimes in and out, Robert Jordan’s Winter Heart, the millionth book in a fantasy collection of both exceedingly great and exciting writing and incredibly boring writing!
My Christian friends tell me I’ll save my soul by accepting Christ. Some of my best friends are wonderful Christians, true Christians with the incredible amount of love and compassion they bring to the acts of their daily lives. They are people I wouldn’t want to live without. Wulf did an outtake on his Christian upbringing, from Baptist to Science of Mind and then his own concept and knowing of the Divine, through his religious concept of Creavolution.
The sun is out now and the ice on the pond will melt this time. When winter is deep upon us the ice will stay and the Canadian geese and ducks on their way south will come and visit a while with us and their domestic counterparts. As winter comes on, I have to do physical stuff to keep going or my emotional self can suffer. Especially when the sun doesn’t shine for a while and my southwestern nature suffers. It’s then that I miss the mountains and sun of the southwest where I met my husband, my child grew up, and the love of the land grew and grew within me with miles-long hikes out into the wilderness of the deserts and mountains.
It’s the incredible beauty and soul of West Virginia that calls to my own soul and as I’m busy trying to save this soul within myself, this land and its’ people support and encourage this seeker in her search.
“Creavolution says the only constant in reality is change. The universe itself is in a continual process of growth and change: searching for harmony and compatibility, each faction of the cosmos wanting to better adapt itself with the rest, never pausing or starving, just flowing with the bend and blend of the natural rhythms and cycles. And inherent within this universal energy flux is the drive towards an ever expanding consciousness toward self awareness and understanding, towards thought and mentality. This drive is innate within all elements, within all life and matter. It’s the force of the eleMental-energy, the great divine energy field that powers the cosmos.” excerpt from Creavolution/I=eMe
Wulf Zendik
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